Draft Script
So I told my mum the initial three act script and she interpreted it as this:
So I told my mum the initial three act script and she interpreted it as this:
Act 1
Group of 3 kids Nathan [eldest], Shane and Hannah and their dad ride into a wild west high street.
The saloon bar doors swing open and out walks a tall heavy set stranger, worse for drink
Nathan: look Pa its Cliff Edge the train robber, there’s a bounty for his arrest
Pa: leave this to me son I’ll bring him in
Pa breaks free of the group rides forward and calls:
Pa: Cliff Edge I’m taking you in, stay where you are
Cliff: Aint no one taking me anywhere [bang]
Shoots Pa dead leaps on his horse and bolts out of town. Nathan, Shane and Hannah ride over to Pa jump down from their horses and crouch beside their Pa.
Hannah [crying]: Pa, Pa don’t die Pa
Shane [hysterical]: He killed him, he killed him stone dead with no care t’aint right
Nathan: Naw, it aint right and we’re gonna do something about it. Hannah go find the undertaker to take care of Pa’s funeral. Shane we’re gonna need a posse to go after that outlaw.
Unnoticed the Sheriff appears wearing a silver star. He tips his Stetson back on his forehead
Sherriff: now boys lets not get hasty here tell me exactly what happened
As the lads recount events a small crowd gathers on the deck in front of the saloon
Sherriff: alrighty it looks like Cliff Edge killed this man in cold blood. All those wanting to join the posse to bring him in mount up we ride in 5 minutes there’s no time to lose
Act 2
A group of men including Nathan and Shane have ridden in and are dismounting in front of the saloon
Saloon girl in the doorway [Annie]: howdy fellas was the huntin’ successful?
Shane [looks exhausted]: Naw, he’s gone to ground and could be anywhere
Annie: Awe shucks honey you come right in and the girls here will look right after ya and yer brother
Shane and Nathan drift into the bar following the rest of the posse. Annie, May and Eliza move over to them, Eliza hangs back as Nathan rants at the bar
Nathan: Some one, somewhere knows where he would go he needs supplies, he needs ammo, come one guys who would know these things? [he looks round the room]
Eliza looks across at the Englishman Jon Gunn dressed in a suit and bowler hat who knows Cliff Edge very well and is his financial adviser.
Hannah walks in the bar
Hannah: there you are I’ve put all the wanted posters up around town and Mr Cooper at the store has offered to put us up for the night. We can go when you are ready.
They follow her out
Shane [muttering]: don’t know how any of us will sleep right now
Act 3
A couple of nights later Shane and Nathan have silently followed Jon Gunn out into the open country
Cliff Edge emerges from behind a boulder and Jon hands him fresh clothes, bread and cheese
Jon: Cliff I don’t know how much longer we can do this, its not safe and those nosey kids miss nothing. I can feel their watchful eyes on me all the time
Cliff: Dang Jon, it don’t bother me none I killed their Pa and I’ll kill them if they git in the way
Nathan [leaps forward]: you’ll have to catch us first you murdering son of a bitch
Points his gun at Cliff’s head
Shane leaps forward and knocks the gun out of Nathan’s hand
Shane: no Nate no shooting he’ll kill you first
Jon Gunn throws himself on Cliff grabs his guns from the holsters
Jon: they’re just kids Cliff they don’t need to die, we’ll figure this out
Nathan hurls himself at Cliff flailing arms and punching his head
The posse arrives, this time with Annie and Eliza
Annie: Eliza told me she knew Jon Gunn was coming out here at night
Hannah jumps down from her horse and drags Eliza off hers and starts fighting
Hannah: you knew, you knew and you never said a word
Eliza: yes I knew and I knew you want him dead. There’s been enough killing in this town
Shane restrains Hannah
Shane: Calm yourself little sis we got him, we got him it’s over
Sherriff: Cliff Edge and Jon Gunn I’m arresting you for the murder of an innocent man you’ll come with my men now to await trial. Jon Gunn you are guilty as him don’t know why yet but I’ll think of something that’s for sure
Now what I really like about it is the dialogue, and I've been really struggling with my script especially because I wanted to do the dialogue in Iambic Pentameter, but i just don't think that's going to be possible when I'm struggling with the outline of the story. What I don't like about this script is how there's a lot more characters than I expected, also there's a serious lack of wrestling, the whole reason is because I wanted to animate a Seth Rollins moonsault in a cowboy fight. So I'm going to work on it and come back with another draft.
NB: I did about eight drafts in total. After the second draft I was at a real stump and I ended up talking to Steve who suggested researching story maps and creating a story map for the script as being a visual person that may help a lot more it did.
